What am I doing here?

Back in high school I kept a diary. It had a lock, that didn't work, and I hid it under papers in the right hand drawer of my desk. I wrote, in pen, not every day but at least a few times a week. That book holds my thoughts, my dreams, my drama of my teen aged angst filled years. I sometimes like to pull it out and re-read it. Most of it is pretty shallow, no deep thoughts. A lot about which boy I was "in love" with at the time or what new thing I bought at the mall. Planning for proms and rehashing love spats.

But it is interesting to have. It makes me sad sometimes how I could let a boy ruin my day but it makes me happy to see that the friends I had then are for the most part all still in my life. So as I think about that diary I think about this blog. Why do I do this?

Not many people read it. (Hi those that do!) I admit I kind of like the allure of someone I don't know peeking into my world and reading my things, especially where I keep myself fairly anonymous I think on this blog. But alas, I don't know how to keyword so people find me or perhaps they find me and I'm just boring. Whatever, I don't do this for the readership that is for sure.

I guess it is much like the diary of my youth. I do it for me. It is fun to go back to early entries and read what my thoughts were then, what was going on, what was important to me or on my mind. You can forget the minutiae, how you played restaurant with your son while your oldest girls were in school, how your kids did at a horse show, how you celebrated your anniversary 3 years ago. Those sort of things are fun to look back on.

So it is for me I blog and if you want to peek in and comment and share, by all means feel free! Someday down the road I'll see your comments and say "Hey, I remember her" or "I'm so glad she is still in my life".